Change is inevitable, it happens to all of us, yet it something that evokes mixed reactions in many people. Despite its inevitability it still can come at us like a bat out of hell and disrupt the routine of life. Someone dies, someone announces their engagement, someone breaks up with their partner, someone leaves or returns, someone quits their job which was destroying their soul, someone who is usually so accommodating learns how to say 'no'.
We fight, we deny, we laugh it off, we demand and spit the dummy. Sometimes we say 'come and get me', or we are thrilled and energised by it. The adrenaline gives us a hit and we are motivated and inspired or we reach for a distraction.
I think about change a lot. How to do it, why bother with it, why not - what have I got to lose, what do I want to do, create, become, how can I harness it instead of let it overwhelm me. I am glad I have thought about it a lot so that when my GP decided to start me on this bizarre protocol I was up for it. This is enforced change, and I could spit the dummy, or I can embrace it and use it to make something beautiful.
Many times in my life I have embraced change as a catalyst and thrown myself headlong into it. At times I didn't know if I was extremely brave and adventurous or just plain desperate.
My brother Julian died in 1995, not long before I turned 30. It was a life changing event, not only because I lost someone I really loved and who was one of those people I felt understood me, but also because it made me consider my own immortality and how desperate I was for change in my life. I couldn't go on living the way I was. I wasn't living I was just waiting to not live anymore.
At the time I knew I had to do something to break free. I could feel myself sinking further into a dark place and the usual things I used to distract myself from this darkness were only pulling me down further.
We fight, we deny, we laugh it off, we demand and spit the dummy. Sometimes we say 'come and get me', or we are thrilled and energised by it. The adrenaline gives us a hit and we are motivated and inspired or we reach for a distraction.
I think about change a lot. How to do it, why bother with it, why not - what have I got to lose, what do I want to do, create, become, how can I harness it instead of let it overwhelm me. I am glad I have thought about it a lot so that when my GP decided to start me on this bizarre protocol I was up for it. This is enforced change, and I could spit the dummy, or I can embrace it and use it to make something beautiful.
Many times in my life I have embraced change as a catalyst and thrown myself headlong into it. At times I didn't know if I was extremely brave and adventurous or just plain desperate.
My brother Julian died in 1995, not long before I turned 30. It was a life changing event, not only because I lost someone I really loved and who was one of those people I felt understood me, but also because it made me consider my own immortality and how desperate I was for change in my life. I couldn't go on living the way I was. I wasn't living I was just waiting to not live anymore.
At the time I knew I had to do something to break free. I could feel myself sinking further into a dark place and the usual things I used to distract myself from this darkness were only pulling me down further.
